Friday, March 5, 2010

hello Dali



trunk too long off 
the top of his head

too thick and pointed 
there could be no 
grace in movement 
with that thick snout

and with eyes
evil and tiny

this carved creature 
could only think, 
if he could think, 

"where is Salvadore? 
surely I'm his creation
and we must talk.


Poem  © 2010 by R. Burnett Baker 
Photo courtesy of Willow at Magpie Tales blog. 

12 comments:

  1. would consider ending it at the second to last verse? at "and we must talk"

    I thought this was a wonderful job of making a poem out of this prompt

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  2. Good job, Rick! I, too, found this creature a bit disturbing. And I remember trying to carve soap -- it ain't easy!

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  3. @ Suz: You know, you're right! That would have been a better ending!

    @Vicki: To this day I won't use Ivory soap. Guess I was traumatized for life in the fourth grade! LOL!

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  4. I'm with Suz, end with "and we should talk." Loved your story about soap carving - did you get a better grade after the visit?

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  5. From one failed soap carver to another, nice job with the poem, Rick!

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  6. Loved the poem, it was interesting and yes his eyes were evil... and I was with you on the carved soap, poor little boy, what a horrid teacher!

    Christine

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  7. He does have very untrustworthy eyes..
    kid's efforts should always be encouraged, from soap to poetry..nice.

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  8. You introduce an empathy with the creature here that is faintly disturbing.
    I often look in the mirror and wonder if I'm one of Dali's creations...

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  9. Love the Dali references. I think he looks demented as well.

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  10. dali and a memory of your aunt fighting for you--she would be proud! great posts!

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  11. Good thinking! Love the reference.

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