Cologne on me generally turns rancid. I don't know why.
The only cologne I've found that makes me smell clean, fresh, handsome, sexy, and hot is Banana Republic "Classic". Now I learn that BR has DISCONTINUED it! My life may be over.
The green Polo smells nice on me, but it's just soooo 1970's. Not to worry. I've found four "fragrances" in colorful plastic bottles for $7 each at Wal-Mart. Everyone at work loves how I smell every day, and they tell me so. Admitting this is quite a risky thing to do, I know: Plastic bottles. "Fragrances". $7. And, lordy forgive me, Wal-Mart. I don't care much for Wal-Mart. But it is what it is.
And I smell nice.
So forgive this Magpie. I tried. I really did!
Can I Drink It On Ice?
The Willow Ball beckons, tux and bow tie.
Slicked back hair, patent leather am I.
Impressive I'd be, like Niven and Grant,
with Acqua di Parma, "Suave Rico", they'd chant!
So off to Sephora, my nose in the air,
I asked for a bottle and everyone stared.
But at 83Dollars and two ounces in hand,
there's something about an Aqua Velva man!