Adult Content: My Trip To The Liquor Store...Rated R

A co-worker gave me a $50 gift card to a liquor store for Christmas.  I didn't realize I presented myself as the kind of person who would need that much liquor, (A $5 bottle of Thunderbird and a brown bag would suffice) but I finally got around to spending it this week.  I did good:  Spent $50.78!  I actually don't go into liquor stores, but boy did I learn a few things this week about all the different beverages.  There's something for just about everyone at your local spirits retailer!  Here's a sampling: 

I wonder how this tastes with bran flakes?

What I know about wine is this: The 

fancier the label, the better the wine. 

Right?

Well, guess not.  I'll stick to 

something that is more suitable 

for a hick from Texas: 

Well I'll be!  Here's a little something 

for the plastic surgery ladies in 

California.  (Oh.  I thought that 

said "Botox")

For the sun worshipers:  But NEVER 

drink this while directly in the sun! 

Ah! A politician's wine of choice: 

The registered Democrat's wine of choice:

The registered Republican's wine of choice:

Yeah, I thought it tasted pretty bad, too:

Please don't ask for this drink while drunk: 

OMG.  It was bound to happen, right?

LOL! I'LOL THIS TASTES LIKE 

OMG! ROTFLMAO! 

Finally, truth in advertising: 

Remember: Never drink and drive.

Keep both hands on the wheel.  

Drink BEFORE you drive! 

(Just kidding, folks!  Just kidding!)