Magpie Tales 112: L'Eggo My Eggo!

This Magpie Tales prompt would have been perfect for my previous "serious" epigram post from yesterday.  But as I was reading various "news" stories this evening, and wondering what I would write for Tess's prompt, I came across the following story.  


Forgive me, all, for I know this is Easter weekend and such, but this story just had me giggling my butt off in my chair.  And holding my legs tightly together.  No doubt, there is a place reserved for me in hell, but yes, I'm still laughing!  Isn't it horrible to be laughing at someone's misfortune?  But still...... 


So here it is, my contribution of sorts to Magpie.  The ex-girlfriend in the story below has certainly taken Easter egg hunting to a new and um, colorful level.  Forgive me, Tess!! 

Angry ex-girlfriend goes ballistic, rips off man’s scrotum

By Taylor Bigler - The Daily Caller | The Daily Caller – Fri, Apr 6, 2012

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Talk about a ball buster.

An Indiana man was rushed to the hospital Wednesday after his scrotum was the victim of a vicious attack by an ex-girlfriend, The Smoking Gun reports.

The victim told police that his former girlfriend, Christina Reber, stormed into his apartment as he was innocently sitting at his computer. Reber, who he had severed ties with a few days earlier, first struck him on the head and then grabbed his scrotum and began “squeezing as hard as she could.” Naturally, he told officers that he “was in incredible pain when [she] grabbed his scrotum and began digging in her fingers.”

The police report indicates that the scrotum area was “completely torn loose from his body.” Reber reportedly “refused to let go of his scrotum,” but that the victim was finally able to remove his balls from her vice-like grip.

As if the story isn’t already good enough, the victim, who has not been identified, was taken to BALL MEMORIAL HOSPITAL. As far as we know, the hospital is not only for scrotum-specific injuries.

In an interview two days after the incident, the man told police that after his ex was done breaking his balls, his family jewels are so swollen that he is unable to work, and he isn’t sure if there will be permanent damage.

Reber was charged with two felonies: aggravated battery and illegally entering the victim’s home. She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery.

Image by Djajakarta, shared by Tess Kincaid.