Seldom do I go shopping, but today I went to Eastview Mall in Victor, NY for something specific. Victor, NY is saturated with upper middle class snots, and Eastview Mall is where the "upscale" stores are in the Rochester area. Whatever.
In the center of the mall is a Starbucks. Ever since I didn't get hired by them, I've pretty much boycotted Starbucks. That's not hard to do since their coffee tastes like burnt cardboard on a good day. Just my opinion, but taste buds tell the story. Do I sound bitter? Almost as bitter as their coffee!
Anyway, I was in the mood for one of those green icy thingys they make at Starbucks. So I waited in line with the snots and their snotty offspring. When my turn came to place my order I asked the "barista" if they still made those "green tea slappychinos". Without breaking a hint of a smile, he said to me as if he thought he was being educational, "We make a green tea FRAPPAchino." I said to him, "That was a joke....nevermind." I asked for a large. He rephrased that by asking me "You mean 'Grande'?" If anyone needed to be bitchslapped it was this guy. Let's call him "Buck".
There were three of these "Starbuckians" working today. (YES, they're called that by corporate, but that's another essay!) And NEVER once did I see them smile. Not once! Guess their sense of humor is in the stars.
Two years ago I was in a local Starbucks. The three following pieces were written with a sense of humor as I sat and observed the surroundings. It was part of my research. After all, I was to have several interviews with the company at that time. Guess I wasn't "Starbuckian" enough.
Whatever.
Rick Baker
July 15, 2009
Rochester, NY
Note: All three selections from the chapbook "manic muse and other observations", 2007.
soy
at the fancy coffee shop
a patron watches a barista
whip up her beverage
then asks if it has cream
to which the barista says "yes"
to which the patron says "oh"
to which the barista asks
"did you not want cream?"
to which the patron replys
"I really wanted soy, but that's ok"
at which point I considered
the stupidity of the exchange
since neither woman really knew
what soy is and the damned drink
was being poured into a
freakin recycled paper
cup
and anyway,
I prefer my coffee
in fine bone china
half and half
please.
Poem © 2007 by R. Burnett Baker
100 teabags
writing my name on a cup:
a ploy giving appearances
of exclusivity to my tea,
costing more than 100 teabags
at the grocery store.
taking money at one end of the counter
and handing over my drink at the other end:
making simple process
a ritual, an added value.
I passed the grocery store
to validate pomposity
simply because I'm
too lazy to fill a cup
myself and push the
microwave button.
all at the same
end of the counter.
Poem © 2007 by R. Burnett Baker
talking business
a man slurping latte
engages a woman
at the table, latte too,
both with pens, paper
and notepads, talking
business.
she in stretch pants
and rubber slippers.
he, white shirt and tie,
full and stuffed
in his suit.
she counting calories
in a plastic dome-topped
cup.
he, like June,
bustin' out all over.
Poem © 2007 by R. Burnett Baker
All photographs © 2009 by R.Burnett Baker
